its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
