You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
