yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
