I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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