did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just fell off a train. Bad.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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