im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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