I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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