I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
