Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
