Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
