NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
