If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
