Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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