I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
