thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
