So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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