Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
