well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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