I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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