My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
