just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This house was built for laser tag.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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