You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
