What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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