yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Did you pee in the oven last night??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
