I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
