I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
