Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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