Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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