Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
