I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
