just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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