i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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