The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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