what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
