Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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