office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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