he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
