I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
