So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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