my being single is dangerous.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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