i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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