I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do vagina's smell?
zippers are such a cool invention
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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