my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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