Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
