THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
