She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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