My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
