Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
