She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude i'm inner monologue high
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
