are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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